Farewell 2014.

I'm concluding this year in words with trembling hands and an aching heart. What a terrible year it was. The word tragic doesn't even begin to define what it has been like. We usually call something tragic when we know there is hope that something good will follow or when the survival rate though barely minimum still exists. I don't know where to begin.. January.. that arrived just a few days after i almost lost my sibling or February that i spent actually caring for and mothering another living thing but it was taken away.. or March.. when i saw my best friend hit rock bottom and i just wanted to do anything to help back up... April which i spent with a growing realization and deep fear of what lied ahead. May.. i said farewell to all my batch mates who graduated but i didn't. A close relative passed away.. spent a week attending funeral, giving exams and organizing funeral dinners. Summer.. what a horrifying summer it was.. all the way from June to august. The time when i hit solid rock. The time when i actually believed i wouldn't survive. The time i was completely left alone.. family friends., they all backed off. I was on my own. I spent the months that followed trying to save a sinking ship. I lived everyday with only one thought in my mind that i have to try. and i did.. in every possible way i could. After all i had everything to lose. and i eventually did. Finally, December.. 16/12.. those wounds will never heal. Now, as i sit here concluding this year with tears streaming down my face.. i guess its safe to say that there is no hope for the coming year. Nothing left to lose.