Loyalty

Loyalty never goes unpunished. It kills you with time, a little each day until there is nothing left in you. Nothing human at least. And then you collect whatever remains of you and quietly walk away because you are simply embarrassed of what you've become. A monster... a beast that would try to harm them in ways u couldn't imagine so you protect them from yourself. You know there is no longer any cure for your insanity and you are well aware of what you are capable of. You spend your life acting as their shield, doing everything in your power to keep them from getting hurt until a day comes when you realize you are the one they need to be saved from. Its the worst thing that could happen to you, your biggest nightmare, but you live each day living it, fighting, telling yourself how it was the right thing to do. Its a battle that begins at the time you open your eyes in the morning and ends when and if you finally go to sleep.. until next day and then it starts all over again. It never ends. You can never be human again. You can no longer feel the things you felt before for anyone else anymore and you can no longer hope for anything good. Your dreams lose all meaning and you simply feel useless on the face of earth. Its the time you start doing things because you have to and no longer because you want to. Its the price you pay for being what you were. Its the price for loyalty.. because loyalty never goes unpunished.